


Nothing Left to Say

by mikaelac96



Series: The Ellie Stark Saga [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Depression, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-07-15 03:58:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7206794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikaelac96/pseuds/mikaelac96
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ellie and Tony both knew the arc reactor's effects would only last so long without hurting Tony, but Ellie didn't expect it to happen this soon. He's only been a superhero for six months, but it's already hit their little family hard, and Ellie has to pick up the pieces as Tony smashes everything up. But she might have nothing left.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Move, people!" I ordered, shoving people out of the way so I could get through. AC/DC blasted in my ears, and I managed to get through the door and backstage. Some stage manager took me by the arm and dragged me to a dressing room, throwing a bright red dress at me with black heels.

"You're on in ten." Was all she said to me before she shut the door. I rolled my eyes, but dressed quickly, and slipped my heels on, just as someone threw open the door again. This guy was clearly a gay man, and he had come in to get my makeup done, and yet again, I was led somewhere by the same stage manager from before. The dancers on stage were in the middle of the routine. Dad was flying, about to come in, making fireworks explode even further in the sky. I was pushed slightly, and so I went on stage as some more AC/DC played.

I had taken the guitar from the stage manager, and was rocking the guitar part like it was a lullaby. I was completely oblivious to the fact that Dad had just landed on the panel, and the fireworks that were set off mere feet behind me. I got lost in the music, in the feel of the strings under my fingers. I loved it, _way_ too much. And I continued to play, even after the song ended, and the dancers went off stage. Someone set a hand on my shoulder, making me finally stop, and look around. A blush creeped on my cheeks, but I fought it away, smiling brightly at Dad, who was smirking and laughing.

"Welcome back to planet Earth, princess." He muttered, covering up his microphone. I laughed, handing the instrument off to that damn stage manager, bowing as the crowd cheered. Dad turned to the crowd. "Well, now that she's done, why don't we move along?" The crowd laughed. Dad wrapped an arm around my shoulder, holding me to his side. "I'm not saying that the world is enjoying its longest period of uninterrupted peace because of me." Dad paused, letting the crowd cheer for a moment, before he continued. "I'm not saying, that from the ashes of captivity, never has a greater phoenix metaphor been personified in human history." I laughed slightly, but then bit my lip and stopped myself. Dad raised an eyebrow at me, but I shook my head, so he continued. "I'm not saying that Uncle Sam can kick back on a lawn chair, sipping on an iced tea, because I haven't come across anyone who's man enough to go toe-to-toe with me on my best day!" The crowd went crazy. I rolled my eyes.

I'd grown used to this in the past six months. The whole Dad/Iron Man thing. I didn't like it, but I accepted it. I was proud of him, actually. My dad was saving lives, and protecting the country, and as he’d said, he established world peace. The man was on top of the world. And the cheers of the crowd proved it.

Dad held up a hand, trying to silence the crowd. "Please, it's not about us." I raised an eyebrow, turning to him. He frowned. "What?"

"You say that like I've been your partner in crime the entire time, but I haven't said a word." Dad frowned further.

"Really?" I nodded. "Huh. Either way, it's not about them, or you, or me, it's not about any of us." He paused, looking me in the eyes as he spoke. And the look in his eyes...it irked me. "It's about legacy. About what we choose to leave behind for future generations." He paused again, letting the words sink in. I searched his face, and saw the fear in his eyes.

He was worried. He was scared. And whatever had him scared, it was _bad._ Nothing scares Dad. Not even that one scary movie with the clowns, and that one even terrified _me._

Dad was in trouble, _we_ were in trouble. I could feel it.

He turned back to the crowd, tightening his grip on me. "And that's why for the next year, and for the first time since 1974, the best and brightest men and women of nations and corporations the world over will pull their resources, share their collective vision to leave behind a brighter future..." The crowd cheered even more loudly, "...that's not about us. Therefore, what I am saying, if I'm saying anything, is welcome back."

"Welcome back to the Stark Expo!" I yelled, pumping a fist in the air, grinning brightly for show. The crowd went nuts, and I shared a smile with Dad as he let go of me, and walked out of the spotlight. "And now, ladies and gentlemen, making a special guest appearance from the great beyond to tell you what this is all about, my grandfather, Howard Stark." I gestured to the screen, and took Dad's offered elbow, walking off stage with him. I turned to him, as soon as we were out of the crowd's sight, biting my lip, trying to think of how to word this. "Is something wrong? With you, I mean?" Dad frowned, looking me in the eyes, as he reached into his jacket. I frowned as well.

"No, El, why would you say that?" I shrugged.

"That speech set me off. I, I don't know. I'll see you later."

"Okay." He smiled at me. I smiled back, and headed outside, with Dana leading the way, warning me about the crowd as usual. I rolled my eyes, tossing her my bag as the stage manager handed it to me.

"Really? You're gonna make _me_ carry your laundry now?"

"Watch it, Mulan. At least I'm not making you carry Georgia." I took my guitar case as it was handed to me. Dana rolled her eyes, muttering something Japanese under her breath as security opened the door for us. I was bombarded with press and people immediately, and I smiled politely, pushing past the press, and signed autographs as I walked past. I patted a couple of kids who stood there waiting for Dad, and signed a little girl's notebook for her before I walked past them. I shook people's hands as they introduced themselves, waved, smiled, said some greetings, but I didn't stop for a second. I had to get home.

We managed to get through without a hitch, and I grinned at the sight of my car as I walked through the doors. Dana threw my bag in the trunk, and took my guitar as well as she went to it. I climbed into the driver's seat, rubbing the wheel, looking over the beauty.

A '67 Chevrolet Impala. My pride and joy.

"Excuse me, Miss Stark?" I frowned, leaning out the window, frowning at the woman. She smiled, and handed me a piece of paper. "You are hereby ordered to appear before the Senate Armed Service Committee tomorrow at nine am." I sighed.

"Are you looking for my dad, because he's still stuck back there-"

"No, Miss Stark, I was looking for both of you. Don't be late." She walked away. I turned to Dana, who raised her eyebrows in suspicion. I groaned, crumpling up the paper and tossing it in the backseat.

"Whataya say, Baby? Think you can make it to D.C.?" I turned the key, grinning at the rumble of the seat, the purr of the engine. "I'll take that as a yes. Leggo."

 

* * *

 

"Mister Stark. Mister Stark, could we please pick up where we left off? Mister Stark!" I kicked Dad's leg under the table. He turned to me, eyes slightly wide. I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, Senator Stern?" I asked, sitting forward. Senator Stern looked at Dad, but then turned to me.

"Does your father possess a specialized weapon, Miss Stark?" I considered this, and then figured out my answer.

"He does not possess a specialized weapon."

"He does not?" Senator Stern asked. I shook my head.

"No. My father's device doesn't fit that description."

"And how would you describe it?" I paused, but Dad answered that question.

"By defining it as what it is, Senator."

"As...?" I rolled my eyes.

"It's a high-tech prosthesis." The people behind me laughed at my definition. I sighed.

"That's actually the most apt description we could make." Dad defended me. I shared a smile with him, turning back to Senator Stern as he spoke.

"It's a weapon, Starks'. It's a weapon." I spoke next, getting thoroughly pissed off with this man.

"If your priority was actually the safety of the American citizens-" Senator Stern cut me off.

"My priority is to get the Iron Man weapon turned over to the people of the United States."

"Well then you can forget it." Dad said. "I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one. The technology is ours, and only ours. My daughter has refused to build one for herself, so what does that say to you, Senator?" He went to speak, but Dad cut him off. "Hold on, wait, let me answer that for you. Ellie hasn't built one for herself because she knows what kind of potential my device has, and she knows how dangerous having one could be. I just can't hand this over, mostly because it could be considered tantamount to indentured servitude, or prostitution depending on what state you're in." I kicked him again. He turned to me, frowning. "What?" He whispered.

"Stop it." I hissed. He sighed, but turned back around. Senator Stern tugged at his tie.

"I'm no expert in weapons. We have someone who is an expert in weapons. I'd like to call Justin Hammer, our current primary weapons contractor." I groaned internally. Dad and I shared the same look, before we looked over to see none other than the douche himself, smiling away.

"Let the record reflect that I observed Mr. Hammer entering the chamber and I am wondering if and when any actual expert would also be in attendance." I kicked him again. Dad winced this time, and the crowd started murmuring. Justin laughed.

"Absolutely. I'm no expert. I defer to you, Anthony, and Elizibeth. You're the A-team." I gritted my teeth. Dad and I shared another look, before I sat back, looking down at my hands. "Senator, if I may." Senator Stern nodded. "I may not be an expert, but you know who was the expert? Howard Stark! Your father, your grandfather. Really a father to us all, and to the military-industrial age. But let's be clear. He was no flower child. He was a lion. We all know why we're here. In the last six months, the Starks' have created a sword with untold possibilities. And yet Elizibeth refuses to make one for herself, and they both insist it's a shield." I looked up, meeting Justin's eyes as he stood before me, picking up my microphone. "Have you not made one because of your faith in your father, or is it because of personal reasons?" I sat forward, speaking into the microphone as he put it in front of me.

"I don't feel the need to have my own version of my dad's device. He loves this country, he's a true patriot. I believe that the device should stay with him. He's the one who created it in the first place. I just helped him perfect it." Justin nodded, seeming like he was satisfied with the answer, walking back over to his place, picking up his own microphone.

"You ask us to trust your father as we cower behind his device. I wish I was comforted by your answer, Elizibeth, I really do. I'd love to leave the door unlocked when I leave the house, but this ain't Canada. We live in a world of grave threats, threats that Mister Stark will not always be able to foresee. Thank you. God bless Iron Man, God bless America." Dad was shaking his head. I sighed, but when Dad caught my eye, he smiled in encouragement. I looked back at Pepper, who smiled as well.

'It's okay.' She mouthed at me. I puckered my lip, but turned back around, as Senator Stern banged his gavel.

"That was well said, Mister Hammer. The committee would now like to invite Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes to the chamber." Dad and I both frowned.

"Rhodey?" I said, turning to Dad.

"What?" Dad muttered, turning around and standing up. There was some murmuring throughout the chamber, and the paparazzi stood up, snapping pictures as soon as Senator Stern announced that. Everyone turned as Rhodey walked into the chamber. Dad went up to Rhodey to greet him. I stood up as well, taking the seat on the other side of Dad, so Rhodey could be there right in the center. They both took their seats. Rhodey smiled at me in reassurance, setting a book on the table.

"I have before me a complete report on the Iron  Man weapon, complied by Colonel Rhodes. And, Colonel, for the record, can you read page 57, paragraph four?" Senator Stern asked. I raised a brow.

"You're requesting that I read specific selections from my report?" Rhodey asked.

"Yes, sir." The Senator confirmed.

"It was my understanding I was going to testify in a more comprehensive..." He continued talking, but Senator Stern spoke over him.

"I understand. A lot of things have changed today."

"You do understand that reading a single paragraph out of context does not reflect..." Again, Rhodey wasn't finished talking, but Senator Stern spoke over him.

"Just read it, Colonel, I do. Thank you."

"Very well." Dad sat up. I set my chin on my hands, sitting forward. "'As he does not operate within any definable branch of government," Rhodey paused, sighing, but continued, "'Iron Man presents a potential threat to the security of both the nation and to her interests.' I did, however, go on to summarize that the benefits of Iron Man far outweigh the liabilities, and it would be in our interest to..." Yet _again_ , Senator Stern spoke over Rhodey, calling for him to stop, but not loud enough. "...to fold Mister Stark into the chain of command." My eyes went wide.

"I'm not a joiner, but I'll consider Secretary of Defense if you ask nice. If we can amend the hours a little." I bit the inside of my cheek, as the other people behind the swinging doors laughed.

"I'd like to show, if I may, the imagery that's connected to your report." Senator Stern said.

"I believe it is somewhat premature to reveal these images to the general public."

"With all due respect, colonel, I understand. If you could just narrate those for us, we'd be very grateful." Rhodey gestured to the television screen in the left corner.

"Let's have the images." He looked at the papers in front of him, reading the narration. "Intelligence suggests the devices seen in these photos are in fact attempts at making manned copies of Mister Stark's suit." I sat back further, frowning at what Dad had taken out. I didn't dare argue. "This has been corroborated by our allies and local intelligence on the ground, indicating these suits are quite possibly, at this moment, operational." Some murmuring went around, but Dad sat forward, after finding what he needed on his phone.

"Hold on one second. Let me see. There's something here." He tapped the something, which then commandeered the screen. "Oh! Boy, I'm good." There was more talk, and people started to argue, or something, I don't know. I took out my own phone, but Dad stopped me, commandeering the other screen. "I commandeered your screens. I need them. It's time for a little transparency. Let's see what's really going on."

"What's he doing? Miss Stark, what is your father doing?" I shrugged at Senator Stern's question.

"If you'll direct your attention to said screens, I believe that's North Korea." I watched, as a moderation of Dad's suit walked off a stage, falling off of it and shooting off a weapon as it did, and managed to hit some people.

"Can you turn that off? Take it off." Senator Stern ordered. I forced my smirk away. Justin got up, trying to turn off the screen on the left.

"Iran." Dad said, turning to the screen on the right. I turned to it, raising a brow. "No grave, immediate threat here."

"Is that Justin Hammer?" I asked rather loudly, leaning over to my dad, who squinted at the screen.

"I think so, El. But how did Hammer get in the game?" Justin then went over to the other one, trying to shut it off, looking around desperately, trying to turn it off.

"Look, Justin, you're on TV." He shot me a glare. I raised another brow, turning to Dad, who smirked. I decided to smirk as well. Rhodey went to speak with Dad, and so I turned back to the screen, wincing as the man in the attempt of the suit turned right sharply, twisting too far. "Wow."

"Yeah, I'd say most countries are five, ten years away. Hammer Industries, twenty." Dad said. Rhodey kept shooting him looks, and then looked at me. I shrugged.

"I'd like to point out that test pilot survived." Justin defended himself. I forced back a laugh.

"We're done is the point he's making. I don't think there's any reason..." Senator Stern started to argue, but Dad spoke up again.

"Point is, uh, you're welcome."

"For what?" Senator Stern asked.

"Because I'm-sorry, _we_ are your nuclear deterrent." Dad said, gesturing to the both of us. "It's working. We're safe. America is secure. You want our property? You can't have it! But I did you a big favor." Dad stood up. "I've successfully privatized world peace." He held up two peace signs, and the crowd of people stood up, applauding. I smiled. "What more do you want? For now! I try to play ball with these ass-clowns!" Dad spun around, gesturing to the committee.

"Fuck you, Mister Stark. Fuck you, buddy." Senator Stern said. I laughed. "We're adjourned. We're adjourned for the day."

"Okay." Dad agreed, turning around to pick up his sunglasses.

"You've been a delight. You, _and_ your daughter." Dad put a thumb up. I stood, blowing a kiss, waving at Senator Stern. Dad held out an elbow, which I took, strutting out the double doors like the boss I am. Dad and I shook out stretched hands as we walked out.

"Our bond is with the people." I said.

"And we will serve this great nation at the pleasure of...ourselves." Dad said.

"And if there's one thing we've proven, it's you can count on us to pleasure ourselves." I walked out of the view of the camera, and Dad did a spin. I turned to him, and he started cackling. Laughing like a hyena, which only made me laugh, and accept his high-five.

 

_Team Stark - 1_

_U.S. Government - None_


	2. Chapter 2

"Ellie, c'mon, get up. Ellie!" I yelped, falling out of bed with my sheets wrapped around me in so many tangles, I'm surprised I managed to escape them.

"Pepperrrr! I was having _the best_ dream about Benedict Cumber-"

"Save it." She strolled in, throwing my sheet on my bed, a clipboard in her hand. "You have to go, your tutor's here." I groaned.

"But-"

"Go." She shot me her business look of death. I sighed, but shuffled around her, yawning as I headed down the stairs. I waved at my tutor, who smiled brightly at me. He was a very cute British boy, and worked for a private school in the UK. It was very prestigious, according to Pepper, but I didn’t care where it was. I just wanted to learn more about the failures of man.

"Good morning Ellie. I assume the opening ceremonies were a success?"

"Yep." I smacked his hand as he held it up for a high-five, shuffling past him into the kitchen. "Can we do this in the kitchen today, Harry? I need caffeine. And food."

"Of course." He picked up his briefcase, following me into the kitchen. I grabbed my books from the shelf nearest the couch, and then grabbed a mug from the cupboard in the kitchen, pouring coffee in there, making sure there was plenty of creamer. Luckily, I was the only one who used it. Dad and Pepper liked it black, which completely blew my mind, but whatever. "Now, how did you feel about the chapter I had you read? That had to be simple."

"I dissected it thoroughly. The man was a genius, it still blows my mind that I never bothered reading his work before. I hope you don't mind, but I finished the rest of the book as well. Don't kill me." Harry laughed.

"I'm happy you liked it." I went to hand him his book back, but he held up a hand, pushing it back to me. "Keep it. I insist." I frowned at him, but he shook his head. "I want you to keep it. I feel that it means more to you than you're letting on, so keep it. Please." I smiled, putting the book back on the shelf in the living room before turning back to the kitchen.

"Thanks. So, what's on the agenda today?"

"I was thinking Italian Renaissance." I grinned. Harry shared my grin.

"Yes! I've been waiting to do this since-"

 _"ELLIE!"_ I turned to glare at the set of controls next to me, answering my dad.

"What? Harry's here, Dad, I have-"

 _"Harry, could you spare a minute of your time with Ellie? I have something I need to talk to her about, as soon as humanly possible."_ Harry frowned at me. I shook my head, silently begging him to say no.

"Uh, sure, Mister Stark, we could spare a moment. I'm sure Ellie knows plenty about the Renaissance, she seems very in tune with the subject."

 _"Oh yeah, she can't get enough of that Shakespeare crap. Alright then. Ellie, workshop. Move it."_ Dad hung up. I pouted at Harry, and he shrugged. I groaned, storming off with my cup of coffee, making enough noise so that Dad got the message. I threw open the door as soon as I had the passcode typed in and glared at Dad, who smirked, standing up from his desk chair. "Not happy I see." I shook my head.

"Fuck off." Dad just tsked, and I rolled my eyes, following him as he walked throughout the workshop, tossing some ideas, messing around with his holograms.

"I have a serious question to ask you, and Pepper has already agreed that it might be for the best at the moment." I frowned.

"And that would be?" Dad paused, turning to me, looking me dead in the eyes.

"I'd like to make you CEO of the company." My eyes went wide. I spat my coffee, rubbing the remnants from my chin, staring at Dad in disbelief.

"You're mad. You're completely and utterly bonkers, I can't run the company, I can barely run a _blog_ properly, let alone one of the biggest companies _in the world!_ What is up with your head, are you drunk? High? What are you on?" Dad frowned at me.

This just proved my theory. Something was seriously wrong with my father, and what it was, I didn't know, but I'd find out. And actually, I was finding out just by standing there.

The chlorophyll. He's been drinking way more than usual. The box where he kept the palladium cores for the arc reactor was on his desk. He didn't need to change it for a while, so why was it on his desk?

The palladium. The effects of it were starting to kick in. Shit.

I looked Dad in the eyes again. He ducked his head, turning away from me, taking the poster he had gotten his hands on with him. "Dad-"

"Pepper's getting the papers. The company will be all yours in just a couple of days. Go back upstairs, wouldn't want to-"

"DAD!" He turned right back to me, as he stood on the counter, the piece that was previously on the wall in his hands. I bit my lip, looking at the arc reactor, and then back at him. "The side effects started kicking in. It's killing you, isn't it? Using the suit so much. It's killing you." Dad paused. The look on his face said it all. I bit my lip further. "I don't have to take over the company. We'll find something else, you don't have to-"

"There _is_ nothing else, Ellie. I've tried every possible replacement." Tears stung my eyes. I looked away, walking past him to the stairs. "Bug-"

"No. I don't want to hear it. Maybe you've given up, but I won’t, I'll find a way. There's no way I'm letting you-" I couldn't even say it. I swallowed hard, and turned back to look him in the eyes. "I'll find a way. _We'll_ find a way, Dad. I promise." He didn't say anything. I turned, and opened the door, about to walk out before he spoke up.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Elizibeth." I paused, but shut the door behind me, going up the stairs, drinking the rest of my coffee in two gulps. I tossed the mug in the sink as I walked back into the kitchen. A tear slipped down my cheek, and Harry reached over, whipping it off my face. I looked up, meeting his warm brown eyes. He frowned at me in concern.

"Is everything alright?" I sniffed, shrugging.

"I don't know. I just...I don't know. C'mon, let's get this done." He put a hand on mine. I looked up again from my books, and he smiled.

"It's all right. This can wait. I'll see you on Wednesday." He stood up, picking up his briefcase, and headed out. I paused, but grabbed his arm, just before he walked out the door. I smiled, hugging him.

"Thanks, Harry." I kissed his cheek, before I went upstairs, leaving him standing there dumbstruck, with a hand on his cheek. I smirked.

 _Damn._ Did I really just strike Harry dumb? Oh, well. He was hot, and had an accent. What else would anyone expect of me?

 

* * *

 

I paused, listening carefully. When I was satisfied that no one would interrupt, I went into one of the cupboards lining the wall of my room opposite my bed, pulling out the little black zip pouch. I rolled my shorts up, and found a spot at the top of my thigh, watching as little spots oozed out of my skin as I ran the blade across my thigh. I picked up the toilet paper wadded up next to me on the floor, and dabbed at it. I looked up when I heard knocking, and zipped the pouch back up, sliding it across the floor so that my bed hid it. I tossed the toilet paper in the trash bin next to my desk, and got up, tugging my shorts back down before I opened up the door. I let Pepper in, and went back to my desk as she rattled off about the papers I needed to sign.

“The notary's here, you have to sign the transfer paperwork. She'll be up in a second, she's just talking with Tony right now." I nodded, grinning at her.

"Great! My life is about to be ruined. Potts, could you get me a drink, I think I'm gonna need it." Pepper shot me a look of frustration, and I sighed. "I know, I agreed to it, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it." She smiled, holding my face.

"I know. Thank you, for doing this. You'll be a bigger help than your father will ever be right now. I appreciate it, truly." I nodded again, forcing a smile on my face. But I made sure it didn't look forced. It was practically an instinct at this point.

"No need, Peps. My guesstimation is...I'll last twenty-four hours before the company goes to shit." I looked up, as a red-head walked in. "Oh, Jesus, did Dad bring another girl home? I'm gonna shove my foot so far up that man's ass, he'll-" Pepper slapped a hand over my mouth, smiling awkwardly at the woman.

"I apologize, she's very-"

"Eccentric. Just like her father, and just as I've been told." The redhead smiled fondly. "It's fine, really."

"Go deal with your stuff, Pep. I think I can handle this girl." I held up my fists, throwing a couple of fake punches. Pepper raised an eyebrow, and I grinned at her. "I'm kidding. Seriously, go. I got this." Pepper hesitated a second, but sighed, walking past the red head. I waved her off. "Adios!" She slammed the door behind her. I rolled my eyes, looking the woman in the eyes, my smile dropped from my face. "Natasha, what are you-" I paused, but then looked up at the ceiling, holding up a finger. I went over to the side table, and blocked all sounds leaving the room, and made sure Dad was kept busy if he was spying. I turned back to the assassin, all serious again. "Okay, spill. What are you doing here?" She smiled at me, holding out her arms. I smiled slowly, and accepted her hug.

"I've missed you." I rolled my eyes again, and pulled away, shooting her a look that said I knew better. "Alright, alright. I came here on behalf of S.H.I.E.L.D. We need your help."

"Fury kept his promise. Well, that's awesome. What does he want?"

"He wants you on board that project. And he wants me to keep an eye on you and your father." I frowned, turning back to Natasha as I sat back down at my desk.

"Why?" She sighed, opening up her book, shaking her head.

"I have no idea. Just...be careful, Ellie. And I need your signature." I took the pen out of her hand, and signed where she pointed quickly.  She pointed out a couple of more things, and then I was done. She snapped the book shut, and took the pen from me. She turned to walk out the door, but then turned around. "If Tony asks, I'm _your_ assistant." I nodded, saluting.

"Yes ma'am." She smiled at me.

"See you later, bug." She shut the door behind her. I paused once again, and sat back on the floor, grabbing the pouch. I stared at it, and felt myself getting angry. I whipped it open and grabbed the bigger blade, finding another spot.

All these damn secrets. They were going to be the death of me. And Dad. _Especially_ Dad.

 

* * *

 

Happy pulled up next to the building, and I jumped right out, heading inside before Dad and Pepper walked in. I ran right into Natasha, who smiled at me.

"How was your flight, Miss-"

"Nuh-Uh. _Ellie_. And it was terrible, I hate flying." I turned to the waiter who approached, and grabbed a drink, taking a sip quickly before Natasha took it away from me.

"We have a photographer from the ACM, if you don't mind." I sighed, but Dad grabbed me around the middle, pulling me to his side. I smiled brightly, the camera snapped, and then I was grabbing my drink again. Dad looked me in the eyes, though, frowning at me.

"I called dibs."

"You snooze you loose." I smirked at him, strolling away, going to the bar where a certain strawberry blonde stood, chatting it up with someone. "Look what the cat dragged in." She spun around at the sound of my voice, celery green eyes wide as ever, and grinned, hugging me tightly.

"Ellie! Ugh, I've missed you so much, how are you?" She pulled away, holding me out at arm's length. I smiled as well.

"I'm good, Lux. I'm awesome. I am fan _tastic ._ " Lux sighed, pouting at me. I rolled my eyes. "I'm now the CEO of one of the biggest companies in the world. How do you think I'm doing?"

"Amazing! Did you hear a single word of what you just said? I thought you wanted to run the company?" I shook my head. She frowned further, grabbing me by the wrist. "Come on, let's sit down before Hammer comes over here." I sighed in relief to know that she still hated him, and followed her through the crowd and past my dad, who went to talk to me; but then he saw who was _with_ me. I grinned, and Lux led me to another room. She sat down when she reached our destination, and pulled out a chair for me, slapping it. I rolled my eyes, but sat, and she leaned forward. "Give me every juicy detail. Now." She grinned at me, a twinkle in her eyes. A mischievous twinkle. The twinkle I'd taught her when she got into the game of money. Self-made billionaire, this girl. French. Brains, heart, beauty-and, incidentally, engaged to one of the most powerful men in the game. Not anybody I personally knew, but still, she did well for herself. The girl had style. That's why she was lucky enough to be hanging out with me.

"I tried running the company, remember? When Dad went missing. It didn't turn out so well. I didn't like it, _any_ of it. I thought it was what I wanted, but now I'm not so sure. I'm hoping and praying that some other kid comes forward and claims to be of Stark origin so I don't have to do anything." Lux raised an eyebrow. I set my chin on my fist, leaning on the table with my elbow. "I don't know anymore. I just...I don't know.” I paused, my eyebrows furrowing. “I'm starting to see why my mom never wanted any of this for me. I kinda get why she never outed me, and told Dad. I'm kinda regretting my decision to stay with my dad in the first place, actually." She went out and slapped me. I pulled away, blinking. "What the hell, Lux?"

"Are you stupid! Do you know who you are? You are _Ellie Stark_. You're a badass! You could be President of the United States if you tried! You can run the company, Ellie. I have complete and utter faith in you, along with Dana. Right?" She turned to Dana, who had magically popped up next to me. She rolled her eyes.

"Don't even get me started on her moping. She did an awesome job the last time she tried to run the company, I think she's doing an awesome job right now, actually. Ellie, shut the fuck up and drink, okay? Just, just drink. Here. On me." She put a glass in front of me. I wasn't really paying attention to what it was, but I took a drink anyway. I winced slightly at the burn, but got over it quickly, nodding.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm done moping. Can I get drunk now?" Dana rolled her eyes. I looked past her, noticing Natasha looking for me. I waved at her, and she walked over. I raised an eyebrow. "What's up, Rushman?"

"You have a nine thirty dinner along with Mister Stark, Ellie." I grinned.

"Excellent. We'll be there by eleven." Lux and Dana hid a smile. "Oh! And that one table by the window, closest to the track, that one I spotted in the corner, can you make that us?"

"That's already been taken care of." I grinned even further.

"Dad's so jelly, I can feel his glare and I'm almost halfway across the building from him. Thank you, Natalie." She smiled, and walked away. I turned to look at Dana and Lux. Lux nodded in approval.

"Awesome. She's probably the best assistant you could've asked for on short notice. Well, besides Pepper, of course." Dana smirked. I paused, but stood.

"Guess our table's ready. I think I'm gonna go and join Pepper. I'll see you later, right?"

"Oh, of course!" Lux stood up as well, hugging me tightly. "Congratulations. You deserve all of this, every last bit." I pulled away, and Lux grinned at me. I nodded, smiling back.

"Thanks, Lux." I said, and waved at her as I walked away. I grabbed another drink from a waiter walking by, and joined Pepper at the table in the corner Dad had obviously reserved for us. I sat down with her, and Dana went to join Happy. I frowned, when I didn't spot Dad anywhere-or Natasha, for that matter. "Where'd Dad go?"

"I don't know." I frowned further, but shook the weird feeling off, and sat back, sipping on whatever the hell I grabbed off of that tray. I looked up, when someone said my name.

Oh God. The trash. Pepper had told me about this one, she had confronted Dad at that particular press conference where he’d decided to announce that he’s Iron Man. And he hooked up with her after Dad won that award, the night before my graduation.

I should have see this coming, honestly.

She grinned brightly at me, holding out a hand. "Hi, Miss Stark. Christine Everhart, with Vanity Fair." I reached out and shook her hand as quick and painlessly as I could, staring at her blankly. "I was hoping I could grab a quote for our powerful women issue? My boss will kill me if I don't." I smiled politely, nodding.

"Sure. I'd love t-" I was cut off, when Pepper said my name. I turned to her. She gestured to the screen by staring at it, and I turned to look at it just in time to see none other than my idiot father getting into the car another driver was supposed to be racing for Stark Enterprises. My grip tightened on the glass, and I almost broke it, but Natasha took it away from me. I stood up, about to follow her, when Pepper stood, too. I made her sit down with just one look and got out of the room easily, turning to Natasha.

"I thought you were supposed to be keeping an eye on him, so tell me, Tasha, what the _hell_ is my father doing driving the fucking car out there?" I whispered hurriedly and harshly. She just shook her head.

"I don't know, Ellie, he went into the bathroom and told me to go and find you to tell you that the table was set. He must've took off when I was gone." I ran a frustrated hand through my hair, and turned on my heel, calling for Happy. "Ellie, I-"

"Save it. We'll talk later. I have a giant five-year-old I need to deal with. Go and stay with Pepper, and keep her there no matter what, no excuses." I walked away, heading to the doors. I made sure to keep myself updated, watching a television every time I passed one. And then I saw the man, walking out into the middle of the track. I booked it. "HAPPY!" He turned to me, with the case in his hand. "GET IN THE CAR!"

"Woah, slow down. Ellie, _slow down_ , you gotta tell me what's wrong-" I cut Happy off as he grabbed me by the shoulders, keeping me there.

"Dad, he's driving the racer, and there was this guy, he, he walked out, into the middle of the track, and he, he has the technology! He had an arc reactor, and some electrified whip thing-" Happy let go of me, heading over to the driver's side.

"Get in the car. The case is right there, just get in the car." I got into the passenger's side, and Happy sped off, heading straight, where a border blocking off the track was. "Hang on." I grabbed the case from the backseat before he burst right through the blockade, and sped off in the opposite direction of the racers, heading towards where the wreck had happened. We got there just in time: the man, who I had nicknamed Whiplash, was now heading towards Dad, who had magically gotten out of his ruined vehicle, and escaped near death. Happy rammed Whiplash right into the fencing, meanwhile, Dad had flew up on the fencing like a monkey trying to save his life. "YOU OKAY?!" Happy yelled. I bit back a laugh, at the look on Dad's face. He leant into the open window.

"Were you aiming for him or me? BECAUSE I COULDN'T TELL!" I laughed, but stopped myself. Dad glared. "No laughing. This is no laughing matter, Elizi-"

"LOOK OUT!" I cut him off, and Dad jumped back a few feet. Happy backed the car up, and rammed into Whiplash again, knocking him out once more. He kept doing that, while Dad came around to my side, and I opened up the window, throwing the case out of it at him. It landed on the ground, and Dad stomped on it, managing to get the thing started, and picked it up from the handles that had popped out. He slammed the piece onto his chest, and stretched the armor out. The suit was thin, but _shit,_ was it awesome. Some of our best work yet. He kicked the car out of the way, just in time; Whiplash had managed to cut out a part of the roof, and it was about to cave in, but I duck and rolled. The thing crashed right next to Happy, ruining the passenger's side and the back seat.

"You okay?!" I nodded at Happy as he looked at me worriedly. I turned, when I heard a repulsor blast start up, and Dad went to hit the guy, but Whiplash just slashed a part of the suit, causing me to wince. And then he slashed it again, when he heard another repulsor, making a huge burn mark and slice in the front of the suit.

And this thing was my idea, too. This day was turning out to be really shitty.

Whiplash, well, whipped at him again, after Dad had gotten a shot at the repulsor and wrapped it around his hand, getting a hold of it. But then Whiplash whipped the other one at him, and got Dad around the neck. He flipped Dad over one side, and then flipped him the other way. Dad landed on the car the second time, and then was brought down to the ground, getting on one knee, fighting the grip Whiplash had on him with everything in him. Whiplash pulled the first whip away, focusing on the other one, the one around Dad's neck. He tightened it, increased the power. But, I should've known: the whip would just power up his suit even further. Dad grabbed the whip, wrapping it around himself until he was right in Whiplash's face, and threw a couple of punches, getting him in the gut. Whiplash tried to hit back to no avail, and Dad grabbed a hold of the other whip, flipping Whiplash onto his back. He grabbed a hold of the arc reactor, and paused for a minute before he crushed it.

Cops came and collected Whiplash, dragging him away. Whiplash spat his blood at Dad, and laughed, shouting, "You lose! You lose, Stark! You lose!" I stared at him, swallowing back the lump in my throat, looking up to meet Dad's gaze. He pulled away the helmet, and walked over, kneeling down near me.

"Are you hurt?" I shook my head, and took Dad's hand, standing up. I straightened out my dress, and looked over the suit, wincing at the damage. I caught sight of a cut on Dad's face, but that seemed to be all the damage I could find.

"Are _you_ okay?" Dad paused, but smiled at me, patting my cheek.

"As long as I have you around to save my sorry ass, I'll always be okay, princess." I tapped his arc reactor, and my voice got quiet.

"You science swear?" He smiled further, crossing over his chest piece.

"Cross my heart." I hesitated, but smiled anyway. He knew, that I knew he wasn't okay. We were both far from it. But that didn't stop us from caring about what the other thought. We were still dead-set on making the other happy, and keeping the other safe no matter what it took. Even if it meant looking each other dead in the eye and spitting lies like it was as easy as breathing.

And it was wrong. It was completely, and utterly wrong. And there wasn't a single thing I could do about it.


	3. Chapter 3

_"It, it's just unbelievable. It proves the genie is out of the bottle, and this man has no idea what he's doing. He thinks of the Iron Man weapon as a toy. I was at a hearing where Mister Stark, in fact, was adamant that these suits can't exist anywhere else, don't exist anywhere else, never will exist anywhere else for five to ten years, and here we are in Monaco realizing that uh-oh these suits exist now. And Ellie Stark, the daughter, she can't run a company, look at her father! She's just a kid. She's not ready for any of this yet, and I believe that-"_ Senator Stern as cut off by my dad.

"Mute." I curled up further in the seat, pulling my knees to my chest. Dad walked in, putting a plate with a cover on it in front of Pepper, taking a seat across from her. "He should be giving me a medal, that's the truth." Pepper frowned, staring at the plate.

"What is that?"

"It is your in-flight meal. Oh! Right, crap. Hold on a second, bug." He got up again, and left the room. "Don't take off that cover!" He ordered before he left. Pepper and I shared a nervous look. My eyes went wide.

"He's gone mad. Quick, throw the plate somewhere and say it was the plane! Save yourself!" Pepper shot me a warning look. I bit my lip, biting back a laugh. "I wonder what he tried to make this time."

"Let's just hope it's not french toast." Pepper and I shuddered. I tugged at my hoodie, pulling the hood over my head, my stomach churning when I turned to the window. I laid my head back, trying to go to sleep, but someone pulled out the tray next to me. I peeked an eye open, and Dad smiled at me, setting the cutlery next to it, pulling the lid off. I forced my eyebrow back down, and smiled back at Dad, trying to make him feel better about it. It didn't actually look too bad.

"Did you just make that?" Pepper asked. Dad shook his head.

"No, I made yours." He lifted up the lid to Pepper's plate. I forced back another laugh, and smirked at Pepper, who hid her disgust very well. The woman was an awesome actress. We'd learned how to do that over the years. Dad had attempted to make me something to eat a few times, and none of them ever turned out well. But it was the thought that counted.

"Tony, what are you not telling me?" There was a brief silence. Dad hesitated, and I knew what he was hiding. But Pepper shouldn't. She shouldn't know, not at all. She's already worried enough as it is about me running the company. Telling her would just make her lose her mind.

"I don't want to go home...at all. Let's cancel my birthday party and, uh. We're in Europe. Let's go to Venice. We could go to London, El, how about that? Huh, that sound fun?" I turned to look at Dad, but I saw the window open and turned right back around.

"Yeah. Whatever, just wake me up when we land. I don't care what we do. Just land this _stupid_ plane."

"Cipriani. Remember that?" Dad asked, turning back to Pepper. The sooner they left me alone to sleep, the better.

"Oh, yes." Pepper replied, probably with a smile on her face.

"It's a great place to..to..to be healthy."

"I don't think this is the right time. We're in kind of a mess."

"But maybe that's why this is the best time."

"I think as the CEO, Ellie needs to show up. "

"I think as CEO, she's entitled to a leave."

"A leave?" I asked, staring at the wall. Dad and Pepper both turned to me, and both had assumed I was asleep. But, sadly, I wasn't. I was too nauseous this time.

"A company retreat." Dad informed me. It sounded tempting, but I had to get home. I had to get to work, I had to find that replacement, no matter what it took. I'd already told him that.

"A retreat? During a time like this?" Pepper asked, appalled.

"I think we need to recharge our batteries, figure everything out. She could use it."

"Not everybody runs on batteries, Tony." Silence. I bit my lip, and closed my eyes, praying that I fell asleep before I heard anymore of this. I hated keeping these damn secrets. And I prayed that I wouldn't have to keep anymore for a long, long time.

 

* * *

 

I walked down the stairs just as Rhodey walked in, and I was only going down to get something from the workshop. Natasha and Pepper were working on dealing with the press.

"Where is he?" Rhodey asked, looking at Natasha and Pepper.

"He doesn't want to be disturbed." Natasha said. I rolled my eyes.

"He's downstairs." Pepper and I said it in sync. I turned to Rhodey, nodding to the stairs. He followed me down, and when we got down there, we saw Dad sitting in one of the cars, staring at the holograms in front of him, looking through information on something. When I saw a picture of Whiplash, my curiosity piqued, and I shook my head when Rhodey gestured to Dad. I looked over the information before I approached, I was right behind Rhodey.

"Tony, you gotta get upstairs and get on top of this situation right now. Listen, I've been on phone with the National Guard all day, trying to talk them out of rolling tanks up to PCH, knocking down your front door and taking these." Rhodey gestured to the suits. "They're gonna take your suits. They're sick of the games. You said nobody would possess this technology for twenty years. Well guess what. Someone had it yesterday. It's not theoretical anymore." I frowned at the look on Dad's face, and went up to him quickly.

"Dad?" He blinked, turning to me, and smiled softly. I opened up the car door when he went to do it, and grabbed his arm just as he was about to fall, and supported his weight as best as I could. I got him over to the desk, setting him down in his chair. I grabbed the box quickly, and pulled a cartridge of palladium out, forcing my dad's shirt over the chest piece, and replaced the palladium just as quick, placing the arc reactor back where it belonged. Dad had that look on his face, the one that said he hated it when I babied him. He thought he was the one who was supposed to do that to me, but turns out, the roles were reversed at the moment. He'd have to put on his big boy pants and deal with it.

"Is that thing supposed to be smoking?" Rhodey asked, pointing at the old cartridge.

"It's neutron damage. It's from the reactor wall." I hesitated, looking at the cigar box, and then looked Dad in the eyes again. "Those are running out fast. I'm gonna have to work faster." Dad went to argue, but I stopped him, my eyes going wide when I saw what was on his neck. "And I mean _really_ fast. You didn't tell me it was this bad, Dad." He turned away from me. I bit my lip, fighting back the urge to yell at him. But, turns out, I'm not that good at it. "I'm not a kid. I get what's going on, there's no need for you to keep this from me. If you'd just let me help-"

"No, Ellie. Just, just go upstairs. Please." I clenched my fists. Dad refused to look at me, keeping his back to both me and Rhodey. Rhodey set a hand on my shoulder, and nodded to the stairs. I turned back to Dad, and grabbed what I was going to off of his desk and stormed up the stairs, ignoring the looks Pepper and Natasha gave me, slamming my door behind me. I set what I had grabbed down on my desk, flopped onto my bed, and screamed into it. Just screamed, at the top of my lungs.

That man just didn't get it. Howard and Maria Stark died in an unsuspected car crash, they didn't die slow and painful deaths. Neither did my mom. I didn't know how these things went, the only thing I knew was that I should be helping him right now. I should be thinking of millions of different things that could replace the palladium, but...that's the thing. There really _is_ nothing else, Dad was right. But I didn't want to stop looking, I couldn't give up. Not after everything Dad's done since he built that suit. I wouldn't give up. Not now. Not ever.

I was going to find that cure. Whether my father liked it or not.

 

* * *

 

I pulled my heel on, heading towards the front doors with the present in my hand. I was gonna kill Tasha. I told her to pick something up for my dad, but she went gallivanting off to God knows where, and I had a meeting, and Pepper was gonna yell because I was late, and I just didn't want to be here. On this planet. Ever.

The scene I walked into almost chased me out the door, too. The party was a wreck.

"Ellie, thank God _."_ I turned to Pepper, who enveloped me in a hug, pulling away quickly. "Help me. Please." I sighed, handing her the present in my hands, keeping an eye on Dad.

"I got this, Pepper. Just go and find Rhodey, will you?" She hesitated, but I smiled at her reassuringly. "Seriously. I'll take care of this, just go and find Rhodey. Please." Pepper nodded then, and went to go find Rhodey, just as I asked. I turned back to my dad, and walked over to him, just as he got a hold of a microphone.

"The question I'm most asked is, 'How do you go to the bathroom in the suit?'" I ran over, pulling the microphone out of his hand, looking Dad in the eyes.

"You shit in that suit, I swear to God I'll rip apart that Hot Rod of yours and make it into a dollhouse that street rats can live in." His eyes went wide, and I turned to the audience, putting the microphone up to my lips. "Alright, party's over. Go home. Or I'll call security to escort you guys out." They all laughed at me, rolling their eyes. I sighed. Desperate times call for desperate measures. "TONY STARK DOESN'T LIVE ALONE, ASSHOLES, HE HAS A KID, AND THAT KID HAPPENS TO BE ME! NOW GET OUT!" Everyone booked it, running out the doors like their lives depended on it. I turned to the DJ, handing him his mic. "You too. Pack your shit up, because Iron Man needs to go beddy-bye." I then turned to Dad again, ripping the champagne out of his hand, and grabbed his arm as best as I could since he was in the suit, dragging him to the stairs down to the basement. "Come on. Let's get that suit off of you."

"I have a better idea." My eyes went wide, when Dad grabbed me behind the knees and around my shoulders, flying through an open door, and up into the sky. I squeezed my eyes shut, curling up, bracing myself at the feel of the wind. It was freezing, and I knew my lips were turning blue. I couldn't believe I was thinking this, but I was scared of my own father. And I wanted to get as far away from him as possible.

"Put me down." I muttered, sounding like a scared, whimpering little kid. "Put me _down."_ Again, sounding like a kid. But this time, an angry one, throwing a tantrum. Dad just laughed. "PUT ME _DOWN!"_ I screamed. And this time, it didn't sound so childish. He just laughed further. But this time, he let me go.

And not on the ground.

He probably thought he was going to catch me. He didn't. I just spun towards the ocean, arms and legs out like I was skydiving. I screamed at the top of my lungs. I wanted to close my eyes, and maybe forget that I was there, but soon enough, I smacked face-down into the water. Then I was fighting to keep my head above it.

It was cold. I was tired. I'd blanked as soon as I tried to remember how to keep myself from drowning. Everything was slipping, I was sinking, the air was escaping my lungs, and it was _painfully_ slow. My life wasn't flashing before my eyes. I just kept sinking, and sinking, and sinking...

I was hoping that I'd lose consciousness before I hit the bottom. The air finally left my lungs, and I fought for it, I fought so hard, but it was gone. _I_ was gone. Nobody knew where I was, nobody knew what would happen to me, and Dad would end up killing himself, all because I let go for just a second.

What in the hell had I done?

 

* * *

 

I started coughing hysterically, the water forcing itself back up my throat. I struggled for air, rolling over off of my back, laying on my stomach with my elbows propped. Someone was rubbing my back, and as soon as I caught my breath, I looked around, trying to figure out where I was and what was going on.

Okay, so I'd drowned. Dad was wasted beyond belief. He dropped me in the ocean, i'd panicked and forgotten how to keep my head above water without using too much of my energy, and I'd drowned as easy as that one kid who didn't know how to swim. Somehow, I had been magically pulled out of the water, and now I was lying on the floor of the living room, coughing my lungs out. Pepper and Natasha were close by. Happy was, too. Rhodey and Dad were nowhere to be seen. I frowned, and flipped back over, being met with Harry's warm eyes. I grinned at him.

"That was fun." He smiled slowly, and chuckled at me. I took his offered hand, and he helped me up. I was wrapped in a blanket as soon as I stood, and Pepper rubbed my shoulders, leading me to the stairs. "Thanks, Harry!" I called over my shoulder, waving at him as Pepper got me into my room. She got into my closet, and I stood behind her. She tossed me a pair of pajama pants, and a large t-shirt, gesturing to the bathroom.

"Go and get changed. You're staying with me tonight." I bit my lip, but shook my head.

"Pepper, you don't have to-"

"Yes. I do. Now go and get changed, I'll be waiting downstairs."

"No." Pepper raised her eyebrows at me. I sighed, shaking my head. "I'm fine with staying here. Go home. I'll lock my door, Dad won't get in, and I'll avoid him at all costs." I shrugged. "I think I can handle myself, Pep. I'm fine. Seriously."

"You almost _died_ because of Tony's drunk ass, Ellie, how can you-" I shook my head, fighting away tears. Pepper’s voice had broken, and she looked like she had that night all over again. She grabbed me and hugged me close, resting her cheek on my head as I set my chin on her shoulder. “Oh, sweetheart.”

"Don't ask me, because I can't tell you. Just know that...I'm okay. Or, at least, I will be." She sobbed, and I hugged her closer, taking a deep breath to steady myself. "Go home. Get some sleep. You can yell at Dad and I as much as you want tomorrow, if that makes you happy. Just...just go home. Just tonight." She hesitated, but nodded, squeezing me tighter and kissed my head.

"Go to bed. I'll see you in the office tomorrow. Okay?" I nodded. She pulled away, and smiled at me once more, brushing my hair from my face. "Goodnight, Ellie." She kissed my forehead, before she walked out the door, shutting it behind her. I went over and locked it manually, and turned back, biting my lip as I was met with the view.

"Black out the windows, J, and lock that door thoroughly. I don't want anyone coming in. Not until I say otherwise."

_Yes, Miss Stark._ JARVIS replied, and as soon as he did, I couldn't see the ocean anymore. I dropped the blanket on the bed, and stripped down, grabbing the clothes Pepper had laid out for me and changed quickly. I threw my hair up in a bun, but hesitated, as I went to go to bed. I looked to the cupboard, and I held a hand on my lips, blinking back tears and forcing sobs down my throat. I snivelled, and spoke to JARVIS.

“JARVIS, turn off the security camera, please.”

_Yes, Miss Stark._ I stumbled over to the cupboard and pulled it open, reaching a shaky hand out to grab the zip pouch when I heard a knock at my door. I frowned, but went over to it, my hand hovering over the doorknob. "Who is it?"

"It's Harry. Can I come in?" I paused, but opened the door, letting him inside. He looked around my room, before he sat down on my bed. I sat next to him, crossing my legs, pulling the blanket I had set down around my shoulders, trying to keep my teeth from chattering. Harry frowned at me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder, pulling me to his side, and rubbed my arm, trying to get me to warm up. I laid my head on his shoulder, tucking my head under his chin.

"I don't know what happened. One second, we were fine. We were as close as ever, and we didn't keep a single secret from each other. We respected each other, and the next, we're fighting constantly. Dad's drinking more, even more than he usually does. I'm constantly worried that he'll end up getting himself into major trouble, and trying to run the company as best as I can. Pepper and Natalie are a huge help, but I'm still so overwhelmed, and then this." My voice cracked. I bit my lip, and blinked, a single tear rolling down my face. "How could he do that? I know he was drunk, but how _could_ he?" Harry shushed me. I bit back a sob, and sniffed, sitting up, moving away from him. "I need to be alone. I'm sorry, but I can't do this right now-"

"What? Be taken care of?" I frowned, looking him in the eyes. "You're strong, Ellie. If I were in your shoes, I would've lost it by now. I don't know how you do any of this." I shrugged.

"This is the hand I've been given. I learned how to play it." Harry frowned at me. I wiped my eyes, and looked down at the floor, avoiding his gaze. "This is the latest card I've drawn. I've gotta figure out how to play it, and I can't do that with everyone freaking out and worrying about me. I've gotta do this on my own." I moved away from him, crawling up to the top of the bed, and pushed back the covers, and spread the other blanket out on top of the covers. "I'm going to bed. Go home, Harry. I'll be okay."

"No, you won't." I turned back to look at him, but he was shutting the door behind him when I turned. I frowned, but shook it off, crawling under the covers, curling up in a tight ball.

"JARVIS, is the door locked thoroughly?"

_Yes, miss._ I nodded. I blinked a tear from my eye again, not even caring as I started to cry. I muffled my sobs with a pillow I had grabbed, and hugged it tightly to my chest, letting it all go.

I cried because my life was falling apart. I cried because I was overly stressed. I cried because my dad was dying right before my eyes. I cried because our infamously strong relationship was withering away. I cried because I didn't want this anymore.

And I cried because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop caring.


	4. Chapter 4

I blinked my eyes open, wincing at the pounding headache. I stumbled out of bed, and went into my bathroom, getting into the medicine cupboard and took out some Advil, swallowing a couple of pills. I showered, got myself dressed, and then I went downstairs, only to find Nick Fury sitting on my couch. Natasha was by his side in her usual attire, the attire I'd grown used to.

"What the hell are you doing here, Fury. And have you seen my dad?" I asked, turning to Natasha.

"Mister Stark went to Stark Industries looking for you. He assumed you wouldn't stay here, considering the circumstances." I nodded.

"Awesome. That'll stall him for a couple of hours." I turned to Fury. "Still haven't answered my question, Pirate Pete."

"I'm here to help you, to help your dad." My eyes went wide. I glared at Fury, though, and crossed my arms.

"You can't help him. Not even I can. There's nothing you, me, or anyone else can do, unless there's an unknown element hidden somewhere that no living being has laid eyes on for centuries."

"And I'm here to tell you that that description is almost on the dot." I frowned. Fury smiled. "I know you hate getting help, Ellie. You're just like your mother in that way. But if you'll let me, I'd like to help you. Just this once." I frowned even further. I wasn't sure if I fully trusted Fury yet. I don't think I ever would. The man kept too many secrets, and I didn't like it. But the way he talked about my mom…

I bit my lip, but nodded. "Fine. But if it involves experiments, then I need to stay here. And I need him as far away from this place as possible. I told you once, and I'll tell you again-my dad will not, under any circumstances, get involved with this. _Any_ of this."

Fury smiled again. He nodded. "Of course."

 

* * *

 

"The thing in your father's chest is based on unfinished technology." I frowned.

"No it's not. It wasn't particularly effective until Dad miniaturized it and put it in his chest." Fury shook his head. I frowned further.

"No. Howard said the arc reactor was a stepping stone to something greater. He was about to kick off an energy race that was gonna dwarf the arms race. He was onto something big. Something so big that it was gonna make the nuclear reactor look like a triple-A battery."

"Just him? Or was Anton Vanko in on it?"

"Anton Vanko is the other side of that coin. Anton saw it as a way to get rich. When your grandfather found out, he had him deported. When the Russians found out he couldn't deliver, they shipped his ass off to Siberia and he spent the next twenty years in a vodka-fueled rage. Not quite the environment you wanna raised a kid in. The son you and your father had the misfortune of crossing paths with in Monaco." I frowned, sitting forward as Fury did.

"Now you told me Dad and I haven't tried everything. What haven't we tried?"

"Howard said that your father was the only person with the means and the knowledge to finish what he started." I frowned. Fury smiled. "He was long gone before you were born, Ellie. And your father isn't the only one with the means and knowledge to do it anymore." I shook my head, stood up, and started pacing.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't stand keeping these secrets from him. I never knew Howard, I don't know how that guy's brain worked. If I did, then I might be able to help, but I...I don't know." I shook my head again. "You have to go to Dad. That, or you have to approach us both. It's either we work together and I don't have to tell him a thing, or he works on his own, and I run off because I was forced to tell him everything."

"Ellie, look at me." I hesitated, but looked up, looking at Fury as he'd told me. "Do you really want to do that? Or are you just saying that because you don't want to do any of this?"

"I'm saying that because I feel like I'm intruding. I feel like I shouldn't be doing this, that Dad should be doing this. Howard was his father. Not mine." Fury nodded. "Besides, Dad might not last long enough. What happens when I go to give him the thing and I find him dead? What then?"

"Agent Romanoff's got that taken care of." She came into the room, just as he said that, and held out a piece of paper for me.

"I need you to make it look like this was your idea. Write him a note. Tell him it was your idea, and tell him that you need him to back off, and stay away. Resign. Give him back his title. Anything you can do to keep your wishes intact, do it." I looked up at Natasha, who just stared back at me. I hesitated, but took the paper, going over to the remnants of the counter, grabbing a pen as well.

 

_I never wanted this. I told you that in the first place. I'm not going to apologize. I have nothing to apologize for. But know one thing, Dad, that no matter how pissed off I am at you right now, I'm not going to let you die. And that's why I'm making Natalie give you this. Don't bitch at her. Try not to be an asshole for once, okay? I'll see you when I can._

_-E_

 

I folded the paper in half, hamburger-style, handing it back to Natasha. She tucked it into the box with the needle, which I assumed was something that would keep Dad working for a little while. At the least, long enough for me to figure out what I had to. I watched, as Natasha went off again, but came back a second later with none other than Phil Coulson, carrying a grey case with them.

"You got this, right?" Fury asked. I nodded.

"Yeah. I'm good." Fury nodded back at me, and stood, grabbing his coat.

"I have faith in you, Ellie. If you're anything like your parents', you'll figure this out. And remember: I have my eye on you." He gave me a long look. I nodded again, and he turned around, walking away. I turned to Natasha.

"We've disabled all communications. No contact with the outside world. Good luck." She smiled, and walked away again. I then turned to Coulson.

"I've been authorized by Director Fury to use any means to keep you on the premises. If you attempt to leave or play any games, I will taze you and watch Supernanny while you drool into the carpet." I raised an eyebrow. Phil smiled, and turned on his heel, walking away.

"It's because I'm my father's daughter, isn't it?" I called after him.

"Yes. It is."

 

* * *

 

I huffed, setting the case down on the floor. I sat cross-legged in front of it, and snapped open the case.

The first thing I saw was a blueprint for the arc reactor. I rolled it open, and set it aside on the floor behind me. The next thing I picked out was a newspaper article. 'SOVIET SCIENTIST VANKO DEFECTS' was the title across the top of the main article. 'PHYSICIST SEEKS ASYLUM IN THE UNITED STATES'. 'British Strengthen Foreign Policy'. I frowned, but set it aside with the blueprint, and picked up the tins. I looked over the smallest one, but tossed it back inside. I read the other small one, but tossed that one inside, too. The last one caught my attention. I looked over the other stuff in the case, but put the tin to the other side. As a split-second decision, I put the others by it, too.

I easily got through the rest of the information, and grabbed what I had set to the side with the tin, putting the rest back in the case. At least I found something that could be useful.

I had to dig for a couple of hours to find the old projector, but I managed to get it and a screen, setting it up as well as I could. I looked through a notebook of Howard's, trying to find something that would help explain what his big idea was.

The notebook was half empty. And sadly, the half that he _did_ write in was just equations that would lead to him building the arc reactor. I groaned, chucking the thing in the trash bin across the room, sitting back in my chair, running my hands through my hair.

_"Tony."_ I frowned, looking up at the screen. _"You're too young to understand this right now, so I thought I'd put it on film for you."_ Howard gestured behind him, at the model. Everything, probably. _"I built this for you. And someday you'll realize it represents a whole lot more than just people's inventions. It represents my life's work. This is the key to the future."_ The camera focused on the model of the arc reactor, and the model of the original Expo. _"I'm limited by the technology of my time. But one day you'll figure this out. And when you do...you will change the world. What is and always will be my greatest creation...is you."_

I sank further in my seat. The guilt ate at me like a hungry lion ate its prey. The deeper I digged into this, the more the guilt worsened. I could hear him praising me already, telling me how grateful he is that I found the solution, how sorry he was about all of this. But little did he know. Oh, little do you know, Dad.

_"Is it rolling?"_ I frowned, sitting upright, when I heard a familiar voice. A voice like velvet. Eyes a bright blue-green, brown hair that was lighter than mine. Skin almost as tan as a douchebag from Jersey Shore. She smiled at me, as bright as ever. _"Hi, baby. It's your mom. If you're watching this, it means...I'm dead. And you're with Tony. You're with your dad."_ I blinked, frowning further. _"You and your dad are probably in so much trouble, your grandad's threatening to march right into Stark mansion and take you away. Keep you safe. I want you to know, that I never meant to keep you away from your father, if I did. Right now you're only a few months old, and frankly, I don't plan on getting your father involved. Not with him running Stark Industries. I don't want that for you, and I'm sure your dad wouldn't, either. You probably don't know this, but Tony and I have been friends for a long time. Ever since we were kids. Grams and Howard were good friends, back in WWII. They fought together. Howard and Grams actually founded S.H.I.E.L.D. Yes, I know that if you're watching this, you know about S.H.I.E.L.D. And you know what I do."_  She paused. I bit my lip, tears forming in my eyes. She did as well. It was a habit I'd picked up from her when I was a kid, biting my lip. And running my hand through my hair. She'd always done it, and I kind of just did it. It was a habit, and I certainly wasn't quitting now. _"I'm sorry, Ellie. I am so sorry. I never wanted this for you, any of this. I wanted you to have a normal life, be a normal kid. You deserved it, being the daughter of a master spy and a billionaire. I know Tony wouldn't have wanted it for you, either. I never meant for you to get into this. I wanted you to do whatever your heart desired, whether it involved being a doctor, a lawyer, a musician, maybe even an artist. As long as you didn't get involved in any of this business, I wouldn't care. But you are. And you need to know this, Ellie: don't feel guilty. Never feel guilty about what you do. If you're anything like me, you're keeping this from Tony. And you're helping him in any way you can. Even if that includes watching something that was meant for his eyes, and his eyes only."_ I sniffed, wiping the stray tear from my cheek, and turned away from the video for a second to press on my eyes. _"Don't shed any tears. Don't punish yourself. You're so full of love, and care, and selflessness, I can see that already. And one day, Tony will be thanking you for this. He’ll apologize, and beg for your forgiveness. You're an amazing girl, Ellie. And you'll be an even more amazing woman one day."_ She smiled softly, a tear rolling down her cheek. _"I love you, baby girl."_ I bit my lip.

"I love you too, Mom." One more smile from her, and the film ended. I sniffed, wiping the other stray tear, sitting back in my chair again.

"She always knew the right thing to say, and exactly when to say it." My eyes went wide. I sat straight up, spinning around in my chair. Gramps smiled at me, his eyes crinkling as he did. They were still as warm and kind as ever. "I still don't understand where she got it. Your grandmother certainly never did that, and they could have been twins."

"Gramps, what are you doing here." He held his arms open. I stood up, and walked into them, hugging Gramps just as tight as he hugged me. “She got it from you. I needed a hug.” He kissed my head.

"I came because I thought you might need some help." I frowned. "Howard was a good friend. He asked for help on plenty occasions. I understand the gist of it all. Anything you need, I'm here to help, bug."

"You're here to try to convince me to come back to New York to stay with you and Aunt Sara, aren't you?" He sighed.

"Tony was almost the death of you, sweetheart. I just think-" I shook my head, pulling away. I made him look me in the eyes before I spoke.

"You don't get it. He's dying, Grandpa. Sure, it doesn't give him the right to take it out on me, but he didn't mean to. He was just trying to make what he thought was his last birthday memorable. He was trying his best to keep me happy, because he knew I'd be sad later. I'm not going to be happy with him, I'm not right now, and probably won't be for a while. But just because I'm upset with him doesn't mean I can just let him die. I'm gonna help Dad, whether you like it or not." Gramps paused, but I saw a flicker of something across his face. It was a look he got when he saw Mom in me, so he nodded.

"I understand. I won't try to convince you otherwise, because you're dead set on this." He smiled, patting my cheek. "Just like your mother." I smiled back at him.

"I gotta go. I'll be right back." Gramps nodded. I walked past him, and headed to my car. Just as I had grabbed the door handle, and was about the climb in, Gramps stopped me.

"Tony doesn't know how lucky he is."

"And he'll never know." If he doesn't stay out of my way, that is. “He’s an idiot.”

“Elizibeth, watch your mouth.” I gaped at Gramps, who smiled in amusement. “He’s still your father.” I rolled my eyes. “Hey!” He used his warning tone, and I laughed, climbing into my car.

 

* * *

 

I stormed right into the office, and my eyes landed on the table as soon as I did.

"Mister Stark, your daughter's here. She refuses to-" My eyes went wide. I didn't think he'd be in here. Shit.

"I got it." The secretary walked back out the doors. I strolled over to the model, looking over it. I could feel Dad's eyes on me, but I didn't want to say anything. Unfortunately, I was going to have to say something if I wanted to get this thing out.

"I'm taking this."

"Ellie-"

"Don't. Just don't, Dad."

"But-" I spun around when he grabbed my arm, pulled it out of his grip, reached out and punched him, sending him stumbling back.

"HOW COULD YOU?!" He cracked his jaw. I looked him in the eyes when he turned to face me. "How _could_ you? I hate flying in planes enough as it is. You were drunk, sure, but you had complete control." I paused. I would've thought he'd have a snarky comeback, but he was silent. I went on. "After everything I've done. After everything, you still did it." Tears formed in my eyes. I bit my lip, but looked away, grabbing a piece of the model. "I told you to leave me alone, and I meant it. Leave me alone, Dad. Unless you'd prefer that I actually did break your jaw."

"Why aren't you yelling at me more. Scream at me, Ellie. Yell and bitch as much as you want." I bit my lip further, walking away as fast as I could.

"I'm sending Happy in for the other pieces. Don't come home. Not until I tell you otherwise."

"WHY AREN'T YOU YELLING!" I paused, hand on the door. I leaned my head against it.

"Because I’m tired _._ And I have nothing left to say to you. Not a single damn thing." I was met with silence. I bit my lip further. I clenched my fists, but this was my only chance. And I was going to take it. "I am so sick and tired of this. I didn't think this would happen."

"What?" I turned to him finally.

"I don't want this anymore. I don't want to be stuck in your shadow, I don't want to be involved with the company. I don't want to make music my career, it's just a hobby."

"Then what do you want?" I paused again. Then shrugged.

"I don't...I don't know." I knew he was frowning. I knew he wanted me to yell at him, and tell him off. Hell, I wanted to. But I was just tired. I couldn't. And so I grabbed a piece of that model, and I walked out the door without another word spoken. I went up to Happy, who was downstairs talking with the secretary at the main entrance.  "Happy." He looked up, frowning at me. "Go and get the rest of this model for me, would you? I'm parked right out front."

"Sure thing, Ellie." He knew better than to argue. The model was from Dad's office. I've been in there once, I didn't want to go in there again.

I slid into the driver's seat, and pulled my knees up to my chest, breathing in through my nose, and out my mouth, trying to calm myself down.

I wouldn't cry. I wouldn't let them see, I wouldn't let a single soul see. I wouldn't tell him. I wouldn't tell anyone.

I hate this life. I hate being special. I hate this, all of this. I think...

I think I hate him. I think I _hate_ Tony Stark.

I think I hate my own father.


	5. Chapter 5

"JARVS, vacuform a digital wireframe." I said, grabbing a duster from next to me, cleaning the model off. "I need a manipulatable projection." I watched as JARVIS scanned the thing, tossing the duster at Gramps, who sat in a spinning chair next to me.

_1974 Stark Expo model scan complete, miss._ I lifted it up, bringing it over to one side.

"How many buildings are there?"

_Shall I include the Belgian waffle stands?_ I rolled my eyes.

"Cut the crap. It was rhetorical, now show me." I pushed the hologram out in front of me, into an open space. He highlighted the buildings, and I managed to pick them out. "Okay. Alright, making progress." I spun the image around, and grabbed another chair, pulling it up as the hologram flipped on its side. I sat down in front of the image of the globe, frowning. I grabbed my glasses from my pocket, and sat back, crossing my legs. "What does that look like to you, J? Not unlike an atom, in which case, the nucleus would be...here." I pointed there. "Highlight the unisphere." As soon as the image started glowing gold, I circled around it and expanded it. I paused again, staring at it.

"Get rid of the footpaths." I looked up as Gramps joined me on the other side, looking over it. I didn't think he'd know what to do. I was just trying to figure out what _I_ was doing, really.

_What is it you're trying to achieve, Miss Stark?_

"I'm discovering-correction, I'm rediscovering a new element." I ran a hand through my hair, sitting forward in my chair. "Get rid of the greenery. The trees, the shrubs...the landscaping! Everything. The greens, parking lots, exits, entrances." I pushed some things out of the way, focusing on the globe. "Structure the protons and neutrons. Use the pavilions as a framework." I expanded the image even further, watching as the frame built itself around the globe.

I paused-just a second-and then pushed the image open, spreading it around me, staring at what I'd discovered. I looked around at it, a smile slowly spreading on my face.

"It's so...pretty." I giggled.

_The proposed element should serve as a viable replacement for palladium. However, it is impossible to synthesize._ I scoffed, laughing.

"Yeah. Right. And that's what people said about electricity, but look at us now, J!" Gramps laughed at me. I stood up, heading to the stairs. "Get ready for some re-modelling, guys. We're back in hardware mode."

 

* * *

 

I stopped at the top of the stairs, meeting Dad's eyes. I clenched my jaw, and crossed my arms. I thought he was just going to walk past me, and go upstairs, but he didn't. He walked right past me, and down the stairs, to the workshop.

"What are you-"

"I'll take care of this. I want you to go." I frowned, turning to him fully. He stopped, a couple stairs down, and looked me in the eyes. "You don't want to be here, bug. I can see that. You feel stuck, trapped. Go. Figure out what you need to." I frowned further. "I'm a grown man. I'm the parent here, not you. I can take care of myself." He paused. "I'm sorry. I've put too much on your shoulders. I forced you to grow up too fast. I put you in danger." I shook my head.

"No, Dad, don't punish yourself." He was up the stairs, and holding me tightly, as soon as I said that. I hugged him back, resting my chin on his shoulder. I frowned further, as he let out a shaky breath, cradling my head.

"Have I ever told you how much I love that about you? You're so caring, and loving. You don't care who it is, you just want to see them smile. You're the complete opposite of me, yet...you aren't." I frowned even further. He was up to something. He wouldn't be telling me this unless he was.

"What are you up to." He pulled away, looking me in the eyes. His eyes flashed, and mine went wide, as I realized. He knew. He knew everything, he had to... _Gramps_. Gramps told him everything. Shit. "Dad, I can explain-"

"Save it." He let go of me, the smile dropping from his face. He shoved his hands in his pockets, and walked down the stairs. "Pack a bag. Get out." I followed him down the stairs, and into his workshop, right on his tail. I stopped right inside the door, staring at his back.

"Dad, please. Don't, don't kick me out. I was trying to keep you alive, for God's sake, I wasn't even planning on working for Fury later! I just wanted to help you!"

"And I appreciate it. But I don't appreciate the fact that you've been lying to me this entire time."

"And like you haven't!" He turned his head slightly, interest peaking. I clenched my fists. "Like you haven't been lying about what Mom did. Why she died, how we got on that plane in the first place. The both of you." I looked between Dad and Gramps, but my eyes landed on Dad's. "She was targeted. Her death was planned, right down to the fact that I was on the plane, too. They knew who I was, from the minute they got the information that I would be on it. They knew I was your daughter. And they planned to kill us both." Tears brimmed my eyes. My voice cracked when I spoke again. "And no one bothered to tell me." Dad and Gramps shared a look. Gramps stood up and was about to hold me, but I took a step back, staring at them both with angry eyes. Guilt was written across their faces. Dad was hurt, Gramps just got all official-looking. So I went on. "I'm not a child. As much as I want to be, I'm not. I'm eighteen years old. I have a right to know how my own mom died. If my family couldn't even tell me that, then who am I supposed to trust? How can I trust anyone right now, if I can't even trust the one person who's always given it to me straight, no bullshit. WOULD YOU LOOK AT ME?!" He finally turned, and I walked past Gramps, keeping my eyes on Dad. "I work my ass off just to please you, and make you proud, but this is what I get?! I get kicked out, just because I didn’t want to lose my dad, too?!"

"NO! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR LYING TO ME, AND FOR COMPLETELY IGNORING MY WISHES!" I scoffed, laughing bitterly. I turned around, but then spun back around, and shoved him, tears spilling down my face.

"I wish I never would have gone with you! I wish I would have moved in with Aunt Sara!" Dad's eyes flashed, and he stared right back down at me.

"Yeah? And why’s that, princess?"

"Because I probably wouldn’t have tried to kill myself as many times as I have if I lived with her!” Dad’s and Gramps’ eyes grew wide at the same time. Mine went wide, too, and I gaped like a fish, shaking violently when I realized what I’d just said.

“What.” I shook my head, and stammered, shaking my head even more when Dad stepped forward. “Ellie, why did you just say that.” I shook my head again. Dad’s voice shook. “Bug, what else aren’t you telling me.” I bit my lip when I felt myself on the verge of crying. Gramps stepped forward, and urged me on as well.

“Lizzie, you need to tell your father.” I swallowed the lump in my throat, and hesitated, but grabbed my sleeves and rolled them up, holding them out to show Dad. Dad rubbed his face when he saw the cuts, and he looked back up at me with tears in his eyes.

“Why would you do that to yourself?” I shrugged, and Dad stepped forward, grabbing my wrists carefully. “How long have you been doing this?”

“I was twelve.” Dad was trying to keep up a strong look, but he cracked for a moment when I told him that. “I hated school. Every kid there thought I was a freak, or a stuck-up bitch. They thought I’d be as arrogant as they thought you were.”

“I’m so sorry.” I shook my head, and broke down now. Dad hugged me close, cradling my head. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

“I tried to ignore it, to just focus on getting out of school, but it got worse by the day.”

“I was busy a lot then, wasn’t I?” I shook my head, but Dad knew better. “Oh my God, I missed your birthday.”

“Dad, it’s not your-”

“But I should have seen it. I should have known something was wrong, I never could get when parents’ didn’t realize that there was something seriously wrong with their kids.” Dad kissed my head, and his strong facade cracked again. “I should have seen it. We’ll get you help, Ellie, the best help out there, you’re gonna be okay-”

“No, Dad, I have to go.” He held me tighter as I tried to pull away from him. “Dad, I have to go, I can’t be here. I need to get away from all of this, that’s the only thing that’ll help.”

“I can’t let you go after what you just said, kid. You realize that, don’t you?” Dad pulled away to look me in the eye. He wiped my tears away, but I pulled further away from him.

“Being here isn’t healthy for me. I have to get over this on my own.” He gaped at me. “I was trying to save you and you were a complete ass to me, Dad! I can’t handle this right now, especially after all the stuff that’s changed since you were taken!”

“Her whole world has flipped on its head, Tony. She’s learned things that are changing her entire perspective on who Cecilia was to her.” Dad turned to Gramps, who crutched over to us, holding out an arm to hug me. He kissed the side of my head, cradling the back of it as he did. “Do what you need to, Lizzie.”

“Thank you, Grandpa.” I muttered back to him. Dad had an outburst after I said that.

“She’s _my_ daughter! You expect me to just let her walk away after she confessed something like that to me? What if she goes and kills herself? What if I just let her go, and she hurts herself even more?” Gramps turned to Dad while I crossed my arms defensively. I’d flinched when Dad mentioned my potential suicide.

“You have to trust her. You have to have faith in her.” Dad stared at me with a fear in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before. He was scared of leaving me alone. He hadn’t been scared to do that since I was a kid. “She needs to get out of here, it’s not healthy for her. Especially after the stunt you pulled on your birthday.” Dad shot Gramps a glare then, and his anger spiked again.

“Are you saying that I’m not fit to be her father right now?”

“You know that’s not what I’m saying, Tony-”

“I took care of her! I was here as much as I could be, and you’d be surprised how much that was, considering what everyone thinks!” Gramps let go of me, and they were more focused on each other in that moment. They started yelling at each other, well, mostly Dad, trying to prove how much he loved me.

I ran up the stairs, and packed a bag. And then I got the hell out of there as fast as I could.

 

* * *

 

I waved at Happy as I entered the lobby, and got into the closest elevator, going up to Dad's office. Pepper was there, sitting on one of the couches, clearly expecting my dad.

"How is she?"

"She's fine, thanks for asking." Pepper turned around. I smiled softly at her, sitting down next to her. I grabbed her hands, looking her in the eye. I felt my eyes welling up already, and my voice broke. "I’m sorry, Pepper." She frowned.

"Sweetheart, what happened.” I sobbed, and she hugged me close, cradling my head. “Was it your dad?”

“I’m sorry I asked you to keep my problems to yourself.”

“Oh, Ellie.” I hugged her back, and she stroked my hair. “What happened?”

“I told Dad. It-it just slipped out.” She pulled back, cradling my face. “Pepper, I have to go.”

“He won’t let you do that.”

“That’s why I took off when him and Gramps were fighting.” Pepper pursed her lips, and I hugged her again. “I’ll call you every day, I promise, but I have to get out of here.” She hugged me back, and sighed, kissing my head.

"Okay. Okay, go. Just...come home in one piece. Please. I love you."

"I love you too. I'll see you soon." I pulled away, and rushed out the door, fearing that Dad would show up any minute and stop me. Catch me in the act for once. I gave Happy a big hug as well, promising that I'd bring back a good diner burger, not the crappy fast food stuff. I managed to get out of there in less than twenty minutes. I turned on the stereo, and sped down an empty dirt road, headed wherever the road took me.

 

* * *

 

_Below, my soul_

_I feel an engine_

_Collapsing as it sees the pain_

_If only I could shut it out_

 

I blinked, getting the last of the salt water out of my eyes. I just loved to torture myself, didn't I? Goddamn Imagine Dragons. Giving me too many fe-HOLYSHITADUDE.

I swerved past the van and the dude that just magically popped up, and slammed on the breaks as soon as I was out of the way. I jumped out of the car, running over to the scene. The van I'd swerved past had hit the guy, and I was pretty sure he was unconscious.

"Hey, is that guy okay!" Another guy, who I assumed had been in the van, nodded.

"Yeah, he should be fine."

"I didn't hit you too, did I?" The driver asked. I shook my head. She had light brown hair, and pretty hazel eyes. She looked a little like Natalie Portman, or Keira Knightley. She breathed a sigh of relief. "Good." She turned to the girl next to her. "Now get him in the van, since you're the one who tasered him."

"He was freaking me out, for the last time." I frowned, as I got a look at the van, and then at the markings in the sand, and how the driver was kneeling by them with a notebook out.

"You want me to take him to a hospital?" The three other conscious people turned to me, frowning. "What? It looks like you're a scientist, a storm chaser or something. If you want, I could get him to the hospital. My back seat is empty." They all looked at each other. I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. "My dad, he's a scientist. He can't stand being dragged away from his work. I figure, you guys want to finish what you're doing here. I need to stop for gas, that guy might need medical attention. It's a win-win situation." The two girls nodded in silent agreement, and the driver turned to me.

"That'd be great, thank you." I nodded, and went to grab the guy, slinging one of his arms over my shoulders. The other guy grabbed his other arm, and slung it over his shoulders. We managed to slide him into my backseat, and I turned to the other man.

"Did he say what his name was?" He nodded.

"He said it was Thor." I frowned. Man, the guy must've been really hammered. I frowned further as the older guy laughed. My eyes went wide then.

"Crap, did I say that out loud?" He nodded. I shrugged. "Oh well."

"Hey, wait!" The other girl ran up, the one that didn’t look like Natalie Portman. She had bright blue eyes, and curly curly dark hair. Porcelain skin. Honestly, I would have made out with her right there if she asked me. "I'll come with you. It's the least I can do, I tasered the guy." I nodded, and she grinned at me.

"Sure." I turned to the man as he held out a hand. I shook it, smiling at him politely.

"Thank you, truly." He said, smiling back at me.

"It's no trouble. Seriously." I grabbed a hold of the driver's door, pulling it open. "Good luck. I hope you find what you guys are looking for." He nodded.

"Yeah. Me too." I paused, but started up the car. The other girl hopped into the passenger's seat, and as soon as the door shut, I sped off. She clung to the seat belt for dear life, eyes wide.

"Jesus, you drive faster than me." I smirked.

"I was raised by a man with a love for cars. What can I say? I like speed." I turned to her, and we shared a grin. "Hey, what's your name, anyway?"

"Darcy Lewis. And your's is...?" A name came to mind immediately. But not my last.

"Just call me Ellie."


	6. Epilogue

I grumbled at the rising sun, squinting my eyes at the light.

Today...Christmas. December 25th. Mom's favorite holiday.

I should see snow on the ground. I should be in New York, waking up to the smell of Grams' breakfast big enough for the size of an army. I should be running down the stairs and into Mom's arms, ripping apart present after present. Maybe even with Dad, jumping up and down on his bed until he finally crawls out of it, eating nothing until Pepper shows up and makes us some proper food. Dad and I would be fighting over who got to mess with what first, and Rhodey would show up at some point, and he and Dad would end up doing that, and I'd end up at the piano, playing as many Christmas tunes as I pleased.

But no. I'm here. I'm in some crappy motel room in a small town, waking up to the sun blinding me, reminding me what today is. And that I'm completely, and utterly alone.

Fan _tastic_.

I grumbled, as I realized that I wasn't getting anymore sleep. So I sat up, and threw the curtains shut, going to the bathroom. When I came back out, I was putting my hair on top of my head in a bun, and then checking my phone, seeing a message already this morning.

I hesitated, but put the phone up to my ear, listening to the voicemail.

 _"Hey, bug. Merry Christmas. Wish I could say that to your face, but seeing as you're still pissed, I'll try to make this as quick and painless as possible. Pepper misses you, Rhodey and I are getting bored because you're not here to open your presents, Pops and Peggs are worried. We all are, kid, and you haven't even called. We don't even know if you're getting these. At least call, Ellie. Just_ call _. I don't know when I'll see you, but I hope it's soon. I love you."_

I gripped the phone in my hand, but grabbed a pair of jean shorts and slid them on. I checked the pockets, and luckily, I found both my set of keys, and the key to the motel room. I grabbed the duffel I'd used for my project, and locked my motel door behind me as I walked out.

A simple, ten minute drive. No cars parked anywhere, I knew he'd be off doing God knows what. Drinking. Partying. Whatever it was didn't matter. He was gone, I could slip in and out and he'd never know until he looked under the tree. And there it stood, in the middle of the living room, like always.

I remember the first Christmas I spent with him, the first after Mom had died. Gramps and Grams had wanted me to fly to New York, but I stayed with Dad. And we made the most of it.

 

*****

 

_"Pepper! Oh, Pepper, can you get a tree! Pleeeeaaassse! We have to have a tree!" Pepper laughed at me, hugging me to her side._

_"Of course. It's not Christmas unless you have a tree. Now come on, we have to get this shopping down before Tony gets back from his trip." I nodded, and Pepper took my hand, leading me throughout the store. "I already found something I think Tony will like, but what do you want to get for your grandparents?” My brow furrowed, but I stopped in my tracks, as my eyes landed on something. Pepper frowned at me, but I pointed, and she looked where I was. I heard her gasp, and grinned, running over to it. "Oh, Ellie."_

_"Mom used to get these all the time." I stepped up on the stool, staring at the object with a smile on my face. "She said that it was because Grams and Gramps always got one for her and Aunt Sara."_

_"Oh, Ellie, that's beautiful. It's a perfect present."_

_"You think?" I asked, turning to look at Pepper. She smiled, nodding._

_"Yes. It's perfect." She looked up at the shop keeper, pointing at it. "We'll take it."_

 

*****

 

_I could barely sleep. I got up at five o'clock, and ran out of my room, heading straight to Dad's. I opened the door, as silent as a mouse, and then I tip-toed over to his bed, and sat down at the end of it, nudging his leg._

_"Dad?" I asked, nudging him again. He grumbled something, rolling over. I frowned, as my eyes started getting droopy. He sat up, just as I laid down, and fell back to sleep._

_I slept for four more hours before I woke up again, with the smell of motor oil and incredibly expensive cologne. I smiled brightly, and sat up, standing on his bed, and started to jump._

_"Wake up! Wake up, wake up, wake uuuup! It's CHRISTMAS!"_

_"Ellie, go back to bed. It's five in the morning." I pouted, sitting near his head, quivering my lip and using my eyes to my advantage._

_"But Daaaaaad. It's_ nine _. And it's Christmas!" He sighed, but sat up, rubbing his face, and messing with his hair when he finally looked at me. I grinned at him, jumping out of bed. "CHRISTMAS!"_

_"Bah Humbug." I pouted at him. Dad slowly smiled, his eyes crinkling as he did, and chuckled. "C'mon, let's go see what the big guy left you." I grinned, and ran out of the room, heading straight to the stairs. I caught sight of the tree, and I smiled even bigger, running down the stairs as fast as I could, sliding right up to the tree with my sock-covered feet. I looked over the tree, my eyes getting bigger by the second at the sight of all the presents._

_"Wow." I muttered, picking up the smallest one with my name on it. Dad grabbed me by my shoulders. "I've never gotten this many presents from one person. This is insane."_

_"You better get going. If you don't have these all unwrapped by the time Pepper or Rhodey get here, you're gonna be in trouble." I nodded, cracking my knuckles._

_"I'm a professional. I've got this. Step aside, Daddy-O." He backed off, sitting at the bottom of the stairs. I slid his presents over to him, and grabbed my own, putting them off to the side, organizing them by size. I started with the smallest and worked my way up, just as I always did. I'd gotten a lot of Pokemon stuff, like trading cards, and video games for my Gamecube and Gameboy. I'd also gotten some Mario games, and Animal Crossing. Overall, I was satisfied in the video game department._

_But the best presents came from Dad. I received my very first guitar. It was blue. A bright blue, with black lace patterns, and a set of guitar picks to go with it. I stared at it in awe, running my fingers over the strings._

_"Do you like it?" I nodded, turning the guitar around so I could hold it properly. "Pepper told me you'd been eyeing this thing for weeks. But I thought, maybe you shouldn't just stop at a guitar." I frowned, turning to look at him. He nodded to the corner, and I stood, setting the guitar down before I looked where he was pointing. My jaw dropped, as it came to my attention._

_Oh no. He didn't just get me a guitar. He had gotten me a Grand Piano._

_"What-But-How did-"_

_"I take it that you like it?" My eyes went wide, and I spun on him._

_"_ Like _it? No. I love it. I love it, I love it, I LOVE IT!" I ran into his arms, hugging him tightly around his middle. "Thank you."_

_"Merry Christmas, Ellie."_

 

*****

 

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I grabbed the presents I'd received and put them up in my room, left a note for Dad, Pepper, Grams and Gramps on the coffee table and left. And just as I pulled out, I saw him pull in.

I know. I probably seem like a cold-hearted bitch, but I needed to stay away. And I'm just glad I got to leave that there for him. I'm happy that he knows I'm still thinking of him.

I'll admit, I wanted to stay there. I wanted us to spend Christmas together as we always did. I wanted to forgive him, I wanted him to forgive me, I wanted us to be Tony and Ellie again. But we couldn't do that. Not after everything that's happened. Not after all the lies. Not after all the shit we've been through since Iron Man.  I needed some space. And Dad needed to respect that.

 

* * *

 

 _Tony frowned as soon as he walked through the door. Ellie's presents were gone. But...they were replaced. With presents for himself._ From _Ellie. He had to be drunk. Or high. Pepper wasn't home, so who knows what the hell he'd been up to._

_"JARVIS?"_

Miss Ellie was here just a moment ago, sir. She hasn't left a voicemail, but she went to her room with her presents. She has left something on the table there, sir.

_Tony frowned further, but snatched the envelope with his name on it off of the table, and ripped it open, taking out a card. When he opened the card, a note fell out of it, falling to the floor. He picked it up, and set the card aside, seeing as the note seemed more urgent._

 

Hey Dad. By the time you read this, I should be out of town.

I'm sorry. I wanted to come home and stay there, I wanted to wait for you, but I didn't know what I would say to you. I know I shouldn't have lied. I know that I haven't been my best, but I'm trying. I am. I haven't...I haven't done anything in weeks. And I hope you haven't touched that alcohol, not with just Pepper there. She can't handle that. She doesn't deserve that.

It's Christmas, Dad. Please don't do anything stupid. Spend the holiday like you would if I was there. Eat, open presents, be happy. You don't have to act like a grinch just because I'm not there. Give Pepper and Rhodey big hugs from me. I left a present for each of them under the tree, too, though. And, of course, I left one for you.

I love you, Dad. And please, PLEASE. Have a  Merry Christmas.

 

_Tony rubbed his face, setting the note down on the table, picking up the present Pepper had given him that morning. He looked over Ellie's smiling face, her brown eyes bright with happiness as she stood next to Tony, who had been laughing at her for that one joke he could never forget, and still made him laugh to this day. And he knew that she would be okay. She wasn't okay right now, but she would be. And when she wanted to come home, he would welcome her with open arms. And they'd be Tony and Ellie Stark, the most amazing father-daughter team anyone had ever laid eyes on. And everything would be okay._

_Eventually._


End file.
